:: crazy/beautiful ::

:: Wednesday, May 29, 2002 ::

I hate bosses that are incompetant yet they yell at you for their problems....I'm applying for a summer job in fucking december next time, I'm through screwing around with Ports.
:: Erica 2:17 PM [+] ::
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Well I hope I can actually write what I want to say before my computer decides to freeze itself again. Damn thing, I don't know what's wrong with it, but it is SO annoying. Control Alt Delete doesn't work at all, and I have to totally restart.

I worked at Ports friday and today. Yesterday I went to a wedding as Chris Campbell's date. Yeah that was fun until he got so drunk that he got mad at me for saying I didn't want to dance with him because he was so drunk and then proceeded to yell out the window of my car "faggots" and "niggers" to random people on the street. He also hinted at hooking up with me about 28549 times which, of course, did NOT happen. However it was funny when he was dancing sandwiched between old ladies and he was actually having fun. Oh, and I am totally not attracted to Jim Palmer anymore!!!! That makes me very happy. (not the baseball player or the money store guy, CHARLES)

Other than that this weekend has been pretty tame compared to past standards. This is the first weekend in a long time (well probably about 3 weeks) that I haven't been with Pat, so of course I'm a little nostalgic for the fun times at Geneseo, but I'm telling myself that this summer will be awesome somehow, and I'll make new better memories. It's probably weird, but the thing I miss the most about my time with him is when we "slept together" (no sex involved). Of course he was drunk every time it happened and we just kinda passed out on each other, but besides with Nate a few times, that was the first time I've done that. For some reason with Nate it was different, we'd already been going out for a long time, and it didn't really seem as special I guess. It's nice to have someone just to be there with, even if neither of us are conscious.



:: Erica 12:49 AM [+] ::
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Thanks to the wonderful Andy Logue, I can now be online at my house through my laptop.....life just got a whole lot better. God it's pathetic how much I need the internet to communicate with people.

And tonight I sat outside Sue's house with her drinkin a beer and chatting. It was great....it was also a Corona :) Tomorrow it's back to the crazy life of a Ports worker.
:: Erica 12:00 AM [+] ::
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And now I'm at Joe's house, randomly writing til he gets off the phone with Libby. We're going to see Spiderman (the 2nd time for me) at 7 with Chris O'Donnell, it should be fun. I was supposed to see it for the 2nd time with Pat *tear* but it's okay. No actually I'm pretty okay with the whole not seeing Pat for like 2865 days thing, but it's hard when I know I COULD be talking to him online but I'm not b/c my stupid home computer is a piece of crap. What the hell are crosslinked clusters anyway???

So the whole work thing sucks. I didn't want to work at Ports, I REALLY thought I was getting myself outta there for good this time. But nope, they keep sucking me back in, those bastards. I'm working friday, sunday, then alllllllll next week. I repeat: bastards. I might start a job at the hospital, but it's something weird in the kitchen so I'd probably RATHER be at Ports. So yeah, all you genevans....come out and see me slaving away for Dave and Jeff again this summer.

:: Erica 6:28 PM [+] ::
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Yes but I do have a computer at my grandparent's house. How sad is that, to go online I have to be at my grandparent's house. Hopefully I can call the computer help place soon and we can get my computer fixed, b/c my parents sure as hell aren't gonna do anything about it.

Yeah so there's weird Amish people here fixing my grandparent's roof and they're all like 20 and have beards. They would probably be cute if not for the beards...and the fact that they're Amish.....they keep walking by and staring at me too :-/

I can't believe I'm actually home. This is really weird. I hung out with Joe all of yesterday, which was cool. But today he's sick and my other friends aren't around at the moment, so it's gonna be a family night for me. Greeaaat. I should probably unpack all the shit that's sitting around my room, I'm sure it'll take 3 hours anyway.

Oh and my brother let me borrow his Jimmy Eat World cd....I swear every song they sing is like a theme song for me. The Middle is the best song though, I love it.
:: Erica 4:03 PM [+] ::
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ummmm yeah. erica doesn't have a computer at home for now. sucks for all you people, huh?
:: Joseph 3:43 PM [+] ::
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So I'm here, on a saturday night, sitting by myself at my computer b/c there is nobody around and nothing else AT ALL to do. I've never been so bored in my life. Well I probably have, at least I still have my computer. All my suitemats left for home besides Sarah and all the tvs are gone. And me being an idiot, didn't even leave myself a frikken pen or pencil so I can't even write or draw.

And I didn't exactly do nothing tonight anyway. I went to Ralph Suarez's movie premieres of his 3 newest movies. He's a great filmmaker, he really is. I loved all the movies, but maybe b/c I'm obsessed with movies anyway. Goo was in one of them, so I wanted to go watch him. He ended up sitting with me and we sat behind all the people that were the stars in like all the movies, so it was cool. Goo lives with Ralph so he knows all the actors. He played "Sleepwalking Andy" and all he did was walk around asleep, it was really funny. Ralph's style kinda reminds me of Kevin Smith. Of course with much less talent, but he's still got it. I'm really glad I went to that, of course now I wanna be an actress.

Yeah so yesterday I had an actual SOBER talk with Pat this time. Of course he said everything he said when he was drunk, just in a nicer way. I guess we're cool, since he came over AGAIN last night when he was drunk. I tolerated it, and it was a lot easier to handle b/c Tim and Travis came over too. They were all drunk and being really funny like always. I've developed a whole psychoanalytic theory to what Pat is doing, and I think I'm right, but I"m not about to tell about it here, since I know he reads this. HI PAT. Lol.

God you know what makes me so sad? It takes so long to actually make friends with people to the point where you have fun and hang out. Then something happens inevitably, and it ends. Me and Sjene had just started hanging out when she left Geneseo. Of course we keep up communication b/c she's too cool not to, but it would be so much easier to be able to hang out on campus or something. Then there's the guys next door. It's not like I'm all tight with them or anything, but they're so fun to be around that I'm definitely gonna miss their antics. And of course I'm gonna miss Travis and Pat the most. I'm sure I'll see Travis around CA b/c I'll be hanging around there, but I don't exactly hang around Auburn and he's made it clear he doesn't really wanna see me over the summer. Whatever, maybe we'll get to hang out sometime next fall or something.

Oh random funny story, I was talking to my parents in my room today when they were helping me move stuff out, and Pat walked in to ask if I had any index cards. When he left my mom was like "who is that?" and I told her, and she goes "He looks like Nate" Ummm nooooooo. Great that's all I need, I didn't think my type was THAT strongly fixed. Okay maybe that wasn't funny so much as scary, but ya know, whatever.

:: Erica 11:01 PM [+] ::
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Yeah so I don't feel like completing that formal story at this point in time. I'll just say that we both had a great time and I ended up sleeping there again. We both got totally wasted that night but it was still really fun. He came over again monday night and played some wheel of fortune with me.

Yeah and now for last night....I was up for awhile just hanging out with Maura, but finally went to bed at like 2:30. I wasn't really asleep but kinda at like 3:10 when I heard a knock at my door. It was Maura....and behind her sitting on the couch was Pat. He was REALLY wasted, like he could barely stand up. She left us alone to "talk" which we didn't do much of.

Everytime we get together we end up falling alseep, so we were kinda laying there when I heard people outside trying our combination. They would NOT go away, and finally they just POUNDED at the door really loudly. It was like 5 in the morning, so I was like "shit they're gonna wake people up." So I ran out there and just then I saw Pete (one of Pat's suitemates) run back into his room. I went in there b/c I know their code and saw him run into the bathroom and shut the door. I was like "what the hell are you doing asshole? Stop pounding on the door!!" So he was like "heeeeeey is Skeetch in your room?" (Skeetch = Pat) I took him back over to our room and him and Pat's roomate Tim yelled at Pat for about 10 minutes. Apparently he went right from the bar to our room and never checked in with them, and they thought he was passed out outside somewhere. It was REALLY funny though b/c he had no idea what was going b/c he was so drunk. And Tim and Pete were acting like his parents telling him "never do that again, it's 5 in the morning!!" Finally I got them to leave so they wouldn't wake up my suitemates.

Yeah now for the bad part.....we were kinda laying there, kinda doing other stuff, and I was trying to talk to him. I had gotten vibes lately that he was avoiding me when he didn't want to get some. (it's not like he was getting much anyway) So I wanted to know what was going on with him, of course I pick the night he'd dead drunk to ask him about it. He told me he just realized that I really liked him and he didn't think he liked me as much as I liked him. He talked to the girls next door and they THANKFULLY told him not to lead me on anymore. He was like "I wanted to tell you before you got too attatched"....ummm a little bit too late for that but thanks anyway. He said he doesn't want a relationship over the summer, and he said some other honest, but really disappointing things. He just wants to be friends. I can't be mad at him though b/c he didn't really know what was going on and I should have known not to fall for him too much.

If I could be conceded for just a second....I think having a really good body really sucks. People want like "the perfect body" or whatever, but that just means guys can try to get with you and you get screwed over. This has happened twice in the past year with me and it just SUCKS so bad. This stuff is just gonna like...harden me and I'm gonna be so cynical towards every guy now. Ugggh I need to study or something so I stop thinking about this.

Oh and Nate, you now have your payback for me being evil to you....I hope it makes up for some of it.
:: Erica 1:36 PM [+] ::
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A last minute formal invitation from Pat? There's no way I'd turn that down. Yeah that was last night, and it was awesome....I'll include more details later
:: Erica 6:43 PM [+] ::
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It's been waaaaay too long since I've written and I've gone through waaaay too much stuff to talk about (unless you want to read a 5 page story that would put you to sleep) so I'll just sum up.

Thursday: Pat came over TOTALLY wasted at like 12:45. Travis came over too, and I hung out with them and Maura and Sara. Me and Pat ended up "talking" in the common room til 5 in the morning.

Friday: I had my friends Chris and Doug over and we went to Henrietta and watched Spiderman with some of my suitemates, Sjene, and Karrie. Everyone was tired and/or in bad moods after the movie so we just went back and went out to Denny's and went to bed.

Saturday: there was a huge blowout fight that I was attempting to quell by being mediator but it was just frustrating me, along with everyone else in our suite. I won't get into details, b/c again that would be way too much to have to read. But it ended up that me, Maura, and Becky were sitting outside the suite at like 2 in the morning and I was trying to comfort Maura b/c she was in a bad state. Travis came back from drinking somewhere and was sitting out there with us too. I went in the room for a second and came back out and Pat was out there with Liz. He had just gotten back from a sorority formal. He was a little drunk, she was very drunk. She went into their suite randomly and laid on Pat's bed. He kicked her out approximately 2 minutes later and she went back in her own suite. Me, Maura, Pat, and Travis all went into their suite and watched the last half of Leprechaun. Then me and Pat went into his room and "talked" some more til like 6 in the morning. It was so weird watching the sun come out but thinking that you have to go to sleep soon. So we both crashed in his bed, but I had to get up a little while later to go back to my room. I walked in at like 7:45 and scared Sara half to death. She was also very confused as to why I still was dressed in the clothes I had worn the day before.

Sunday and monday weren't very important, but last night Pat came over again and we played a little nintendo and watched The Fugitive. We started watching the movie a TAD late b/c it got over at like 1:45 and I was basically sleeping. I managed to watch the whole thing though, it was the 1st time I'd seen that movie. He was way tired and so was I so he just left.

Today I'm in a REALLY good mood! I didn't have time last night to work on my spanish oral b/c of movie time so I thought I was screwed this morning when I went in there. Nope, I actually did REALLY well without even knowing what I was gonna say. So that made me happy. In like an hour I have my piano final, which I'm gonna do great, I know it. I've been practicing this song for the WHOLE semester and I know it perfectly. Then later Joe is coming over!! I haven't seen him in like a month and I'm excited. Pat wants to meet him, but I don't know how that's gonna go over with Joe.

Oh and how embarrassing is it that Pat read this blog the other night? LOL oh well, it's nothing he doesn't know already.
:: Erica 2:26 PM [+] ::
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Ahhhhhhhhhh last night....is a night I'm gonna remember for a long time.......too bad I'm all nerves today....more later
:: Erica 4:11 PM [+] ::
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So today I was taking a little tiny nap in my common room while reading "Crime and Punishment" (excellent book for all you avid readers out there) and I was asleep for about 10 minutes when a HUGE knock came at the door. Well it's quite a bit louder on the inside of the door when someone knocks so I guess it wasn't a "HUGE" knock. ANYWAY....I was totally disoriented; I screamed, threw off the blanket, and jumped up. I had lines on my face...possible drool....yeah not pretty. So I stumbled to the door and opened it, and yep, there's PATRICK, the one person I dont' want to see in my stupor. He's like "uhhh you guys have any ham?" with a sandwich in his hand. I stared at him for about a minute, mumbled something about him waking me up, and let him in to search the refrigerator. After he figured out we in fact didn't have any ham, he looked at our nintendo games for a little bit and said he had to go....yeah I totally think I scared him off, being all zombie-like. Dammit.
:: Erica 9:50 PM [+] ::
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Well now for my weekend story (don't worry, this will be shorter). I went to Nazareth for the whole weekend to visit Angie for Springfest. My stupid car isn't done yet so she picked me up on friday and brought me back on sunday. I had a great time.

Friday we just drank and went to this Casino thing they had. It was really fun and I saw Lauren and Scott there. You played games like blackjack and roulette with fake money and then won raffle tickets for big prizes. I didn't win any prizes (and neither did anyone else I know) but it was still really fun, and I got to hang out with Lauren. Then Saturday they had all this stuff outside, like food booths (cotton candy, popcorn, snowcones), an obstacle course, a sumo wrestling thing, and bands. Also a ton of free stuff. We stayed outside for like 4 hours, too bad the sun wasn't out. Then we went in, drank, tried to find Lauren at her apartment, and went to the mixer. It seemed to go by really quickly but it was so fun!

Yesterday was Angie's birthday, I couldn't be there but I was there in spirit! (lol) HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGIE and I love you!!!!
:: Erica 8:00 PM [+] ::
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