:: crazy/beautiful ::

:: Thursday, February 28, 2002 ::

So I'm here again at work doing nothing like always. I had a hugely long Humanities test this morning which started at 7:45. And directly after that 2 hour mofo I had another class to attend. Luckily it was cognitive psyc which I LOVE so it kept my interest. Right now I don't want to think about anything school related. I should go to a practice room and take a nap or something, but intead I'm rambling to nobody on here.

Dr. Stanley, my piano professor, just came into the office. She is SO awesome and hilarious. She makes fun of people and professors all the time for being idiots. And she thinks I'm talented! She said I was the sight reading queen one time and just now she called me a good egg =) I'm so glad I decided to take piano this year, it's great.

Anyway, now that my plugging of my professors is over....Angie is coming to see me friday!! Well hopefully she's coming. My friend Chris told me he was gonna come see me and I didn't know if Angie could go with him but I think she is. It's gonna be awesome, she hasn't been to my school in a looooong time. I think we might go to a frat or if we feel special, maybe try to get into a bar. I would have to go search for IDs though.

Ahhh my bosses are back! Time for me to fly
:: Erica 12:34 PM [+] ::
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I wasn't telling you what to do, Erica, i was telling you what *I* think you should do.....big difference.....And if anyone's smart, i obviously don't have pride nor self-confidence and why should i? Everyone I fall in love with i just drive away.....hmmm is there a problem with the people i like or could it just be ME????
:: Joseph 10:52 PM [+] ::
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This one is for Joe, because he thinks he's the all knowing power in my dealings with Nate, so I'm gonna give him a piece of MY mind:

First of all, I had a great relationship with someone for 4 months (and even longer if you count the time before) and since it's only been about 4 months since we've broken up, I'm allowed to think about it sometimes. I know that I was the one that broke up with him, so that probably should mean it hurts me less? It doesn't mean that at all and it doesn't mean that I can't be stupid about it at any time. I KNOW I should leave him alone and I'm GOING to leave him alone, so stop telling me what I should do.

Second of all, you need to leave something alone too dear. This person that you're obsessed with at the moment, it's NOT working. You can write all the thousands of entries in your blog that you want, it doesn't mean that they're suddenly going to fall in love with you. I hate to see you like this, but you get in little ruts where you're full of depression/self pity/denial and you need to snap out of it and move on. Don't you have pride or self confidence? You are HOT, hilarious, creative, generous, smart, and SO incredibly fun to be around. And you must not realize that, b/c if you did then you would know that you could have anyone you wanted and you wouldn't need assholes with big egos. Don't EVEN say "well obviously I can't have everyone I want b/c I don't have who I want now." If they don't like you for you, they are NOT worth your time. Someday I hope you realize that you don't need to beg for love, if it's worth it it will come to you.
:: Erica 4:56 PM [+] ::
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Okay I don't normally do this and I'm not trying to be like Joe or anything but I've been feeling all sad about my breakup lately....so yeah this one's for you Nate:

Yesterday when
We were walking
You talked about
Your ma and dad
What they did that
Made you happy
What they did that
Made you sad
We sat and watched
The sun go down
Then picked a star
Before we lost the moon
Youth is wasted on the young
Before you know it's come
And gone too soon

You were there
For summer dreaming
And you gave me
What I need
And I hope you
Find your freedom
For eternity

See, wasn't that bad was it? It wasn't even the whole song. I gots ta go now b/c I have a broomball game at one (yes one in the morning) so I'm gonna get all psyched up to play. I just want Nate to know that he'll never know how sorry I am for everything and I hope he knows how truly great of a person he is.


:: Erica 10:56 PM [+] ::
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Oh God....

I think the next time I drink I should make sure to eat something that day, and to get some rest prior to that day. I had not even 4 beers, and I was so fucking wasted last night I can't believe it. Goo's party was awesome and it was funny b/c I ended up seeing all these GSTV people there that I knew of b/c I watch our college channel sometimes. I was like "I saw you on tv!!" to people and they were like "umm yeaah anyway". But this one guy that wrote/directed a movie here was at the party, Ralph, and I taped his movie b/c I'm a movie freak. So I went up to him and was like "I taped your movie!" and he got SO happy and just talked to me about it for a little while. Apparently I was in the townhouse where it was filmed so he showed me where different shots took place. We went next door to another party for a little bit, and I ended up seeing an RA from my building last year and this guy that I met randomly at Naz one time when I was drunk. I pointed to him and was like "I KNOW YOU!" and he thought I was insane. But I knew I saw him before so I said "yes I do, your name is Kevin" and he's like "yeah...". Apparently he was "30 year old guy" that I drunkenly talked to at Naz one time. He finally remembered me but he still thought I was insane.

I drank probably from....9 to 12 so by 12 I was just stumbling around being incoherent. Sjene walked us back (my other suitemate went with me) and my friend John randomly decided to stop over at about that time and get his movie he left here. So he got to see me drunk which was kinda funny b/c I just kept hugging him. So I left drunken IM messages to people (never a good thing) and passed out. It was a great night though.
:: Erica 10:30 AM [+] ::
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Yeah thanks for the huge exaggeration Joe, I can always count on you for that. So yeah I'm having some guy issues but I don't think I should get into it here. It figures, the one time I'm fine being single I get offers.

Tonight I was gonna go home and stay til sunday. I want to hang out with Joe since I haven't in about a month and I've been missing him for about a month. Buuuuut my bud Sjene said she was gonna come up to Geneseo and she wanted me to party with her. So...not being one to turn down a party....I said SURE and I'm just gonna go home tomorrow instead. Her friend Goo is having a townhouse party, it should be fun, he's so hilarious. Umm yeah that's it.
:: Erica 1:18 PM [+] ::
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Well, it appears that every boy who has EVER met Erica is madly in love with her. Boo hoo. Let's all stop, take a moment out of our busy lives, and pray for her. It must just suck to be her. Even worse tho, none of the guys she likes like her back. What a terrible life. >sniff< I would just hate to have her problem......having people like me.....

keep rubbing it in my face, bestest bud, I LOVE IT.

ps. i'm a whiny bitch. =)
:: Joseph 12:31 AM [+] ::
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Hey there I'm at work again. I have a half hour to waste here so I thought I'd talk for a little while. First of all my piano professor is gonna KILL me b/c I'm so incredibly tired today. When I'm tired I can't play the piano with any accuracy and she gets a tad annoyed with me.

The reason why I'm tired is b/c I was up until 3:00 in the morning last night. Actually last night was awesome so I shouldn't complain. I watched Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark for the 1st time ever. It was okay but after that we had our secret valentine party. Even though everyone was supposed to exchange gifts with the people they had, we didn't do that and we just had ice cream and talked to people in our quad. It turns out that the guy that had me for a valentine is Pat, one of my newfound friends from next door. He's a really nice guy. I had no idea that he had me but it didn't even matter b/c he didn't get me anything. Well none of us got each other anything, I guess we're all bad secret valentines. The guy I had wasn't even there and he has a girlfriend anyway so he doesn't need a present from me. After that we had our 1st broomball game with the same people and my RA from downstairs. It was SO FUN and I fell at least 6 times. My ass hurts like hell and my knee is completely bruised but I'm excited for our next game already. Too bad we only have 3 games total. Our team name is the Clovers (after Bring It On). I think that was Pat's random idea but it's cool. After the broomball game I was not tired at all so Travis came over (this was about midnight) and we watched Shrek. So I was finally ready for bed at about 2, but I'm sick so my cough kept me up until 3. This incredibly long story is the reason why I'm so tired today. Now I need to go practice piano for awhile so Dr. Stanley doesn't throw me out of class.
:: Erica 1:46 PM [+] ::
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I am soooooo bored right now. I'm also on a MAC which sucks b/c all MACs suck. (I'm at work) Some guy is randomly walking around in the hallway....I think he's lost. Maybe I should help him out. Okay soooo I don't really have much to say I'm just REALLY BORED. Yesterday was Valentine's Day. It was very unproductive, though my roomate talked to a guy for 9 hours straight. Another of my suitemates got an electronic video camera thing from her boyfriend which was really cute. My parents sent me nothing b/c they don't love me.....or b/c they're just a little absent minded. They really do love me. My boss won't STOP giving me candy. I'm getting even more today and going insane from the sugar (and a little from my lack of sleep this week too). We had 2 fire drills this week. The one saturday was at 3 in the morning and the one tuesday was at 12:30. And the lost guy is back.....

Okay new subject, wednesday was Ash Wednesday. I chose VERY unwisely to give up cheese for Lent. That's 40 days with NO cheese, folks. I really don't think I'm gonna be able to do it. Plus I can't eat meat on fridays so I'm screwed today. I had tuna noodle casserole for lunch. It sucked. WHERE ARE MY BOSSES? I want to get up out of this place but they won't come back to tell me I can leave. I need to go watch some video on animals mating. Should be.....interesting?
:: Erica 1:21 PM [+] ::
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God i hate my sad, pathetic little life............
:: Joseph 11:40 AM [+] ::
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Okay so I don't normally enjoy the Olympics but I like figure skating. I watched the pairs today and Canadians Sale and Pelletier got a totally raw deal. They skated perfectly and the stupid Russians did NOT skate perfectly but they STILL beat the Canadians. Oh well, at least nobody is dead from terrorism hijinxs.

And now I'm really happy b/c I'm actually over my infatuation with Travis (yay!). He came over tonight to watch Ally and we just had fun and it was cool. What I'm worried about is that my friend Chris is supposed to come stay here on saturday and he wants to bring his friend Jim. Yeah I totally liked Jim A LOT and he's a bit of a player. Actually he's a big player. Hopefully I can restrain myself on saturday.

More and more people are getting blogs lately. Apparently this is the cool thing to do nowadays. That had no point whatsoever and I'm just gonna go into my next real point. Ummm shit I forgot what that point was but I'm sure I"ll remember it tomorrow and I'll post again. Arrevederci!
:: Erica 11:57 PM [+] ::
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Damn people who need attention.........just for the record folks, not once have i liked erica romantically =) I don't fall for her evil tricks....i'm too smart.

And Travis is cool? Haha...

Thanks for being the best friend ever, Erica....although you are a tad odd.....

i love it.
:: Joseph 11:32 AM [+] ::
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Why does he get to me?? Yeah guess who I'm talking about this time? I know why he gets to me and I know how to stop him from getting to me, but I can't do anything about it. Okay I'll explain.

At home, most of my friends are guys. The people I hang out with 2/3 of the time are guys at home. I don't know if it's the attention since most of my guy friends end up liking me at some point or if guys are just really fun to hang out with, but either way that's the way it is. Well since this stupid school has seriously no guys, I've been having trouble making guy friends. I finally found one cool guy (Travis) this year that I wanted to be friends with. But of course since he's actually cool he has other better things to do than to hang out with me so usually I just get to see him when we're out in the hall together or sometimes he watches Ally with me. So b/c I don't have any other guys to hang out with at this institution it's kinda like I wait for him to want to do something with me. And it's partly my fault b/c I never just go knock on his door. I love hanging out with my girls and everything but it's like I NEED to have a guy around sometimes to be sane. So all I need to do is to stop focusing attention on him and try to talk to other guys around here. I might be going to visit like 5 guys at Cortland this weekend so maybe it's all good.
:: Erica 8:52 PM [+] ::
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Okay I actually have time to write for once. The weather is REALLY crappy here and it forces me to wear a hat. I am NOT a hat person. Just thought I'd mention that random fact. I've noticed that most of my blogs are about guy stuff....this will be no exception...

I think that if guys don't want to go out with girls but they SAY that they think the girl is really cool and stuff that they should still be friends with them, or at least talk to them. This guy that I met once and I talked to him like all Xmas break sees a pic of me and decides that he thinks I'm hot and whatever else. There's no problem with that, BUT my roomate had been talking to him a long time before I had, and she wanted to go visit him and stuff. Now after he decided that he didn't want her and he wanted me, he stopped talking to her. He used to talk to her allll the time. Now my roomate is upset at him for using her to get to me and then dropping her and lying about why it was. Even if he doesn't want to get with her, he can still talk to her!! I guess it's hard and people are busy and whatnot, but he didn't have to make it worse by saying he was gonna fight her and then make out with me TO HER.

Other problems in the guy department: Nate "hates my fucking guts" in his words. Note to self: stop trying to start conversations with the bitter ex. I don't blame him, I suppose me wanting to talk to him is selfish after all I did to him. Also, I realized that I really don't want a relationship with Travis, which is good b/c he doesn't want one with me. So I still don't know what the fuck is going on with our messed up friendship but it's all good. Then there's Sean who's a married member of the staff of SOPA but he's still hot as hell. Then there's Bobby who I almost drunkenly hooked up with at a frat party one time and I saw him for the 1st time since then today. I put my head down as I walked by him and I don't think he saw me, but I would like to talk to him sometime.

In other news, you've probably noticed that Joe isn't writing too much in here. I think he only writes in this when he's in a good mood, otherwise he writes in his own blog. So you can tell how depressed he is right now :( I feel bad b/c I can't see him and barely talk to him when I'm at school and I'm really starting to miss him. Also I have to give a shoutout to my cousin Lauren. I promised her that I'd write about her in here. She goes to Naz and is really awesome. She's pretty, tall, and Italian (like me!) We did everything together when we were younger and anyone that meets her loves her so if you go to Naz look her up. Yeah that's it....
:: Erica 4:14 PM [+] ::
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